Growing up my Dad worked in downtown Tempe right near the ASU campus. Every time we would drive by and I saw the Newman Center I secretly wished that I could get married in that beautiful church. I also wished that I could have my wedding reception on the Mill Ave. bridge.I may have also always wanted to live in Manzanita Hall... High hopes I say! ( I sort of love how my obsession with ASU area lead me to meeting my darling and is the site of our Love Story!)
While never fully giving up on my faith there were times that I wasn't 100% sure that it was the right thing for me. In the winter of 2000 I happened to be involved with a nice Catholic boy (who's mother did not approve of this nice (ha!) Mormon (cult in her eyes) girl) and decided to attend Mass with him. We happened to go to an evening Mass at the Newman Center. I was so excited! Something about those big wooden doors made me believe that there was a wonderful secret kept safe inside....
Once inside I was disappointed to find the interior did not match the exterior of the building. It was explained to me that this was because of the "vow of poverty" taken by the Priests. All i know is the plain white plaster walls and hard wooden benches were not what I had hoped to find.
The biggest disappointment however was the increasingly uncomfortable feeling I got as I sat there trying to follow along. Those romantic rituals now became a little weird and off-putting. After the Mass it was so clear to me that this was not the right place for me. It was such an odd experience to be in church and absolutely not feel the spirit with me. It was like there was a tangible void as I sat on that pew.
"To each his own", I believe. So for me it was my faith 100%.
Here I am years older, and hopefully wiser and I still appreciate the beauty of the churches. I enjoy the history of the Catholic church. I still would really like to wear a crucifix necklace but I think people would make fun of me. I am grateful for my Eternal partnership made possible through my Temple Marriage. Although I still think I would have liked my Mill Ave. reception....
One thing I haven't given up on though is the idea of Lent . I like to put my own spin on things, so I stand in fellowship with my Catholic friends and try to give something up for 40 days. The more I have researched Lent the more I like it. Forty days of Repentance, Resistance (of temptations), Fasting (not every day), Sacrifice (what I choose to give up), Spiritual feasting (my scriptures), Remembrance of my Savior's love and sacrifice, all culminating in the celebration of Easter Sunday. Celebrating the Resurrection of our Lord. Yes, I think I definitely like Lent.
I am giving up soda by the way...
3 comments:
You would love our little town of LeMars, IA. It is a predominantly Catholic Community which has been interesting. But the churches are very, very cool looking buildings. If I ever get dressed and venture out of the house, I will take some pictures and send them to you.
Good luck with Lent! I think that is commendable to say the least. I tried giving up Dr. Pepper once. I think it last a week. : )
Oh honey, I lived in Manzanita Hall and let me tell you, everyday I walked into that dingy (sp?)old building and got in the stinky elevator where someone had just urinated the night before, I wished I didn't live there. It looks cool from the outside though! haha.
Interesting thoughts on Catholicism...never knew you were so fascinated with crucifixes! And lent! Good luck giving up soda though, I know I couldn't do it.
I would have loved to plan your Mill Ave wedding with you. However, I think your reception was MUCH more beautiful.
Good luck with lent, but please don't walk around with ashes on your forehead today, ok?
I have thought about giving up soda for weight reasons so maybe I will try with you for 40 days and see if I can actually do it.
Good idea Mindy! Also, I have a good book for you to read. It involves the Crusades, Catholicism and the Grail. You might like it. We'll talk later.
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